Don't Jump

             Anybody who really knows me, knows that Tokio Hotel is my favorite band. Seeing as I am currently going through withdrawals of their music, I decided to make another musical connection on my blog. 

Here, enjoy a picture I drew of the lead singer, from the music video of "Don't Jump".

             Suicide is something I am familiar with. I have a very strong conviction that there is always a way out. People are different, and they go through different things, I am very aware of that, but there's no better way than living and pushing through your trials. There is no better satisfaction than beating the thing that seemed to consume your life.
              In the song, "Don't Jump" by Tokio Hotel, there is an uplifting message of never giving up. That there is always someone who cares, even if you may not see it. I put all of the lyrics, because I feel like the song speaks for itself. If you get the chance, I highly recommend you see the music video.

On top of the roof
The air is so cold and so calm
I say your name in silence
You don't wanna hear it right now
The eyes of the city
Are counting the tears falling down
Each one a promise
Of everything you never found

I scream into the night for you
Don't make it true
Don't jump
The lights will not guide you through
They're deceiving you
Don't jump
Don't let memories go
Of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don't jump

You open your eyes
But you can't remember what for
The snow falls quietly
You just can't feel it no more
Somewhere out there
You lost yourself in your pain
You dream of the end
To start all over again

I scream into the night for you
Don't make it true
Don't jump
The lights will not guide you through
They're deceiving you
Don't jump
Don't let memories go
Of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don't jump
Don't jump

I don't know how long
I can hold you so strong
I don't know how long

Just take my hand
Give it a chance
Don't jump

I scream into the night for you
Don't make it true
Don't jump
The lights will not guide you through
They're deceiving you
Don't jump
Don't let memories go
Of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don't jump
Don't jump
And if all that can't hold you back    
I'll jump for you

          There are times when it seems easier to just give up and let go of this life. But I can tell you, it's much much more worth it to stick it out, even though it's harder. When it seems that life is too much, and nobody would care if you were gone, or that people would be better off without you, it's time to get on your knees and pray, even if you've never prayed before. Even though it seems like nobody cares, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ do. Jesus Christ suffered the atonement for every single one of us, and therefore knows exactly how you feel. 
             If nothing else convinces you to hold on, then know that I care. I care about you, even if I don't know you. I feel the love for you that no one else does, and "I'll jump for you." I know that it is hard, but the moment you overcome that trial, that bump in the road that seems to stretch on forever, you will feel the joy that appeared to be out of reach. I promise you that.

I Want To Glow Like Phosphorus!!!!

          There are certain people you meet in your life that are different. They seem to have something that you don't, and you can't quite put your finger on it. They almost seem to glow. 

Look at Sister Powell glow! She's like a little lightening bug!!!

             That's a description I have heard throughout my life. That glow is something you have to work for and achieve. It's the glow of pure happiness. The kind of happiness that only comes from living the gospel, and true teachings of Christ. 
              I have met a few people who have that glow about them. I personally only see it in a select few, but it's different for everyone. I've heard people say they have seen it on every Mormon (or Latter-Day Saint) they have ever met. I guess it depends on how exposed you are to it. 
              As of late, I find myself desiring more and more to be the kind of person that has a glow about them. I want to radiate the happiness that I see in so many people, and other missionaries. Just like everything else in life, I'm going to have to work for that glow. I have to allow myself to grow and become the person my Heavenly Father wants me to be. Few things have ever seemed out of reach to me, but yesterday this did. Thanks to a very patient and loving Sister Skroski, it no longer seems so unattainable.
              I have to allow the atonement of Jesus Christ to help me find peace in my life; and surrender my will (and the life I had before coming out here). It's going to be difficult, but worth it in the end. Not to mention, Satan is going to try anything and everything to make me fail. It's a good thing I'm a ninja, and can dodge almost every strike against me! You can even say my Book of Mormon is my NINJA STARS!!!! Bring it on Satan! "Hit me with your best shot (danuh danuh) Fire away" (can't remember song name to give credit...)
              Before you know it, I'll be glowing like a lava lamp! I might just dance like the lava inside it too... You never know.

My Scriptures Are Ferocious

              My amazing companion, Sister Powell, decided to make me a scripture case - out of duct tape. Mainly because I was really, ridiculously jealous of her lime green, duct tape scripture case that I see every day. I was green with envy.

           After several weeks of begging and pleading, she finally started working on creating the ideal scripture case. A case that would be an extension of my personality. It took some unusual techniques... involving an iron... but that's besides the point! It was LEOPARD!!!!!!!

               Now I can honestly say my scriptures are as FIERCE as I am. Maybe even more so! And its all thanks to my companion! Thank you Sister Powell!!! I now have sudden, uncontrollable urges to go frolicking through the vineyards with my scriptures in hand. Do your scriptures show who you are? Mine do now!
 

Alice Cooper Helps Me Avoid POISON!

             I tend to sit sometimes out here and reminisce about music that I used to listen to before my mission. As I was doing that the other day, I recalled the song "Poison" by Alice Cooper. Now, I know you're probably thinking, "full time missionaries shouldn't be thinking about Alice Cooper, that has nothing to do with the gospel." HA! I'm about to prove you wrong!
              In the song "Poison" Alice States:
I wanna love you, but I better not touch (don't touch)
I wanna hold you, but my senses tell me to stop
I wanna kiss you, but I want it too much (too much)
I wanna taste you, but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison, runnin through my veins
You're poison, I don't wanna break these chains.
In this chorus, Alice clearly identifies that something he desires is something he shouldn't go near. Problems are caused if we do, he knows if he gets what he wants that its going to hurt him, no matter how desirable it seems. This can be anything, alcohol, drugs, and even people. Many times we can see and recognize the things that are poison. The question is, do you have the strength to avoid those things? And if you didn't avoid them, do you have the strength to "break these chains" ?


I wish things were always this clear

               I try to stay away from the things that are poison to my body, mind, and soul. But its not always easy. I'm grateful to have the restored gospel in my life that helps guide and correct me. That way, I don't ever have to be chained down, or worry about becoming addicted to anything. And I can see the consequences ahead of time, and learn to identify the things that are harmful. Not everything has a clear label.

I Got SERVED!!! ...a piece of humble pie...

            Have you ever thought yourself so high and mighty, and then suddenly your ego gets popped and you realize how inadequate you are? Yeah, that happened to me.
            In St. Helena, there is a sign advertising pumpkins on the corner of a main street.

            As you can see, it is spelled wrong. When I first saw this sign, I was laughing, thinking what kind of an idiot misspells an "advertisement" sign? I would be SO embarrassed if I had been the one to make that sign. Five weeks have gone by since I first saw that sign.
            A week before February started, I wrote in our missionary dinner calendar that gets passed around the Relief Society women every Sunday. I wrote, "Missionary Dinner Calendar". and I was so proud of myself because I made it all cute and Valentine's Day-y. I thought it was the envy of any missionary dinner calendar. A few weeks later, after having it passed around multiple Sundays for all to see, my companion Sister Powell pointed something out to me...

            Can you see what's wrong with it? I CAN. I felt like a complete idiot. Especially since I was being so judgemental of the person who made the "Pumkins" sign. I couldn't help but laugh and feel utterly ridiculous for my mistake and the lesson I learned... NEVER point out other people's mistakes, because you're bound to make that same exact mistake somewhere along the way. Thank you Heavenly Father for bring my ego down to a non-existent speck. I hope you can learn from my mistake, I'm gonna go cry in a hole now. 

Put Your Stunna Shades On!!!

              Something people usually figure out about me, is that I am a sunglasses freak. It's life, and I've learned to deal with it. I wear my sunglasses everyday, and because I do, I don't have to squint when I'm driving (or even walking!) and I don't have to deal with obnoxious headaches when I'm outside. What a magnificent invention!!!
               What a coincidence! The Holy Ghost acts as Spiritual Shades, for whenever we are outside, in the "real" world. The spirit helps protect us from those things that can harm us. And also provides comfort from everything that seems to attack as soon as we step out. Also, when we see the world through our Spirit Shades (TRADEMARK!) we tend to see things for how they really are. Those things that seem to entice so many people around us, have no effect on you and me. I can see more clearly through deceit and lies, and I don't have to worry and wonder about everything I do or say, because I know what's real and important. I'm so grateful for the protection the Holy Ghost provides me, and I prefer to see the world through my Spirit Shades. They tend to be way more enlightening then the usual chatter of man.

               I invite you to see the world through my eyes. Feel the comfort and security that comes with the Holy Ghost. PUT THOSE SPIRIT SHADES ON!!!

My Bruise, Alfonso

           The other day, I woke up with a gigantic bruise on my leg. I had no idea how or when I got it. I named it Alfonso, because any bruise that big deserves some recognition. Especially when you have no idea how it got there. I don't even know how long it's been there!
            It's funny, Satan likes to work in a similar way. He subtly starts throwing little things at you, or putting little stumbling blocks in your way. We don't notice them, they are that tiny. Slowly but surely though, he starts  increasing the size and intensity, but not so much that you notice it. Until finally, one day you wake up and you have this enormous bruise, and you can't figure out why. That is, until you think back to everything that you've done and realize that there was something in there that shouldn't have been. 
             You never realize how much those small things can influence you. Whether it's foul language, movies, music, and even some books. These are all things that we like to make exceptions for, and don't realize how much they are hurting us 'til they manifest in a not so pleasant way. Don't let Satan creep his way into your thoughts or actions. Don't allow him to slowly bruise you spiritually. There's nothing worse than walking around with an injured spirit. 

ALFONSO!!!

             P.S. - I will admit, though, I am having a lot of fun with Alfonso (my bruise, in case you forgot) I always enjoy poking bruises, especially when they are colorful! But I don't recommend poking a spiritual bruise, that's just WRONG!